Advice to Teenagers

By Rev. Ryoko Osa

The teenage years are an especially bright time. At that time I had lots of imagination, passion, energy, strength, beauty. Unfortunately, I have lost most of those things now. But all of you have all of them now.

On the other hand, the way the world is today, I think you might also be experiencing some stress, some anxiety. You are finding out the world is not perfect. And so as you start out in life I want to give you these three words of advice. First: Don’t compare. Second: Don’t rush. Third: Don’t give up. Got it? Never compare, never rush, never give in. In Japanese 比べず、焦らず、あきらめず. So what do I mean by this.

First: Don’t compare. Kurabezu (比べず)

Don’t compare your life to others. There is no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time. You do not have to compare yourself to your friends. One day you will realize how much beauty you have inside of you.

But since we are human beings, we cannot stop comparing ourselves to others. What others do with their life, what others decide in their lives are very useful for thinking about what you want to do, what you want to decide. But you don’t have to switch your criteria. If you think about it, you realize you have your own criteria, your own way of thinking, and that is enough.

And I hope that Budddhism helps you to form your own criteria. If you listen to Buddhism for a long time, you may come to the conclusion we don’t need any criteria, we just have to accept life as it comes, naturally.

Second: Don’t rush. Aserazu (あせらず)

Aseru (あせる) means to feel rushed, to feel irritated, to feel nervous. Imagine, if you feel like you are drowning, first you have to calm down. If you panic then the more you wave your arms and legs around, the more you drown. You have to calm down, take a deep breath and take things step by step.

Third: Don’t give up. Akiramezu (あきらめず)

Sometimes you feel like you just want to give up. You cannot keep on going like this. But you know you should keep going. You cannot give up. Pick yourself up with a bright thought. Celebrate in your heart. You might be having a hard time in one class. But do your homework. And after it is done give yourself a reward. Play a game, have some ice cream, do whatever you want. Indulge yourself after your hard challenge. It is behind you.

  Never give up. Right now the world might seem to be an unforgiving place. But thanks to that experience, one day you realize the Universe is filled with Love. One moment you are drifting on the sea of suffering. And the next your life is floating on an ocean of loving kindness. And because of that your life is not your own to give and take. Your life belongs not just to you. It belongs equally to your parents, to your family, to your friends. Your life is infinitely interconnected equally with everything there is. But if ever you feel like you are at the end of the road and you want to give up, please come to talk to me or one of your ministers. We are here to help.

And so as you start out in life I want to give you these three words of advice. First: Don’t compare. Second: Don’t rush. Third: Don’t give up.

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